I’ve never considered myself someone who holds grudges.In fact, I’ve always viewed holding grudges as unhealthy, pointless, and even immature. I typically give people second (and often third) chances even when they have done something to hurt me or disappoint me and even when my better judgement tells me not to.
Most of the time I think this is a good quality that I possess. I think that not holidng on to grudges allows me to feel less stressed and allows me to experience more happiness. I think that for the most part I am quite laid-back. I try (even moreso as of lately) to let go of the little things that bother me and think about all of the things I have to be happy for in my life.
Lately, however, I have been troubled over a conflict with a friend, and I have started to wonder if not letting go of grudges can ever be the right thing to do. I have been wondering if I should keep trying at this friendship despite feeling like I’m constantly giving and not getting much in return. I am constantly questioning why this is and what I can do to ensure things go differently. Is this type of friendship worth it? Is it healthy? Does this friendship make me feel good about myself?
I always advise clients that I work with that a relationship/friendship should be reciprocal. You shouldn’t feel like you are always giving and it’s not being reciprocated from the other person. It’s difficult, though, to follow my own advice when it comes to my current situation. Friendships have often been difficult for me, and I’m not quite sure why this is. I try hard to show people in my life how much I care about them, but there are times when this just doesn’t turn out to be enough. There are so many times when I feel like I say and do the right things, but it turns out wrong. I hate the fact that worrying about this friendship is making me doubt myself. I am troubling with what I should do in my current situation.
***Please tell me about your experiences: Do you typically hold grudges or do you let things go easily? Have you ever been in a friendship where you feel like you’re giving so much and not receiving as much in return? Provide me with any advice!